Center of Change

April 14th, 2016


Have you ever noticed that what you say holds power?  Let me give an example.

When I was in High School, I played tennis.   My partner and I were playing in the final game of a tournament.  After a day of serving well, it was my turn to serve during that match.  For an unknown reason, I told myself, “Don’t hit Liz,” who was my partner.  Recognize that I had not hit her, or anyone else, before.  However, I unwittingly planted a negative seed in my mind.  The very next serve, as she was at the net anticipating the beginning of play, I beaned Liz so hard in the back of the head that the ball flew all the way to the back court line.  Had I given myself the same positive talk I had been thinking prior to that match, I believe my play would have continued to be positive, as well.  Instead, I gave myself a lot of embarrassment and Liz a serious headache.

Consider how many times we set the stage for our own difficulties or unhappiness by giving ourselves messages that are negative or damaging.  The purpose of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is to teach skills that allow individuals to think in healthy ways so their behaviors can match their thoughts. 

What we tell ourselves is important.  Make sure it is a meaningful, helpful message.


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